Today I had to tell my *Best* friend that I couldn't attend her birthday Trip. (I am hesitant of calling someone my best friend again due to past hurt of letting people get close to me but she is someone that I would consider to be so... if i can get over my past.) It hurt me to tell her but it wasn't as hard that I thought it was going to be. I guess probably because I am use to being a "people pleaser" I assumed that it was going to upset her however her response was more peaceful rather than angry. I probably disappointed her a little but at the end of the dae she is a person that will continue her plans regardless of who she is around. That's one of the things I like about her.
All relief and ease released from my body when I didn't feel like I was obligated to go. Don't get me wrong I understand that it is her birthday but I feel if I went I wouldn't have been there mentally because I would be worried about other things. I had to do back home plus my sister and her Girlfriend are staying here for a while.
They missed their flight and there is no telling when they will get another one. So that's been a challenge within itself. From someone who is alone majority of the time due to the fact that I work from home and the spiritual journey I am on caused me to disassociate myself because I realized the people I hung around aren't for me. But anyways so having them here for an extended period of time has pushed me to grow my confidence in being firm in my standards and boundaries as well as my Artistry.
Again, I was worried about expressing my boundaries and standards for my house because they were on vacation. Now that it is extended thing have to get back to the regular scheduled program. So I had to put on my granny panties and muster up the courage to tell them "Parties over" lol. then I laid down my rules that I had. Being direct, firm and intentional allowed me to gain even more confidence in myself and he slick helped me heal my inner child of having the fear of not being liked.
I say all this to say that it doesn't matter what role or place people hold in your life as long as you are being intentional in putting yourself first you will be nicer and kinder to other individuals. Trying to be a people pleaser will cause people to take your kindness for a weakness than eventually become bitter. So having standards and boundaries will allow people to respect you and not take you for granted.
Keep growing and healing, trust the process and have faith in your journey. Everything happens for a reason, Stay positive and continue being a light. You got this, Stay Blessed!